Monday, April 30, 2007
TODAY'S ENTRY
is at BoomSalon. Enjoy it.
And you can hear me read a slightly different version of that at this show tonight.
* * * * *
If you enjoyed Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz, those guys originally did a BBC show called Spaced, and thanks to the magic of the Internet and disregard for copyright law, here's the first episode:
|
And you can hear me read a slightly different version of that at this show tonight.
* * * * *
If you enjoyed Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz, those guys originally did a BBC show called Spaced, and thanks to the magic of the Internet and disregard for copyright law, here's the first episode:
Friday, April 27, 2007
WRITER'S BLOCKADE
So I guess I haven't posted on this blog in a week. The problem is that I haven't written too much deent standup in a week, and I just haven't been in the mood to write up some of the sillier things I've seen in this city. Like what? Well...
Like on Houston and First, two pumped-up Guidos literally in the middle of Houston, wearing matching black shirts with thin white pinstripes and khaki pants - the uniform of the asshole - one lying face-down on the hood of a taxi stopped at a red lgiht, screaming at the driver through the windshield while his partner stomps around in traffic like Donkey Kong. A passenger in a blue car one length back and one lane over took a flash photo, at which Donky Kong stomps over and starts demanding ther film very loudly.
The passenger pantomimes refusal, and Donkey kong pounds on the roof of his car - HARD - and screams, "COME OUT YOU FAGGOT!" His friend gets off the hood of the taxi, which then took off through a red light and oncoming traffic. The guy realized the cab was about to get away, so he grabbed the door handle and gets dragged two feet before letting go. The light then turned green and traffic resumed around these mooks.
Anyway, I haven't been writing stuff like that because i've been preparing for stuff like this. Please make a point of coming out if you can, I did this show before and it was really quite excellent:
MONDAY, April 30th
CBS/NYC Presents: Liam McEneaney's "Writings with Music"
at Mo Pitkin's
34 Ave. A
8:00pm * $6.00
Every musician secretly wants to be a comedian. All comedians have a secret yearning to play music. On Monday night, these worlds collide in a music/comedy experiment, as some of New York's best comedy writers read pieces, creating a rhythm that a jazz band will use to create a live, improvised musical background.
Curated by:
LIAM McENEANEY, who has been seen on Comedy Central's "Premium Blend" and VH1's "Best Week Ever." He spent two seasons as a writer for Comedy Central's "Stand-Up Nation w/ Greg Giraldo."
And featuring readings from:
ERIC DRYSDALE, a comedian/writer who won five Emmys for his work on "The Daily Show w/ Jon Stewart," co-authored the NY Times bestseller "America: The Book," and is currently on the writing staff of the hit Comedy Central show, "The Colbert Report," on which he can regularly be seen as "Bobby, the Stage Manager."
BOB POWERS, the creator of the wildly popular website girlsarepretty.com. His book, "Happy Cruelty Day," was recently published by Thomas Dunne Books/St. Martin's Press, and was called "crass, witty, snarky, and unbelievably funny" by the Library Journal. Along with Todd Levin, he is the curator/host of How to Kick People, a reading show that was featured at the 2006 US Comedy Arts Festival in Aspen.
JANICE ERLBAUM, is the author of "Girlbomb, A Halfway Homeless Memoir," published by Random House/Villard. The NY Times called it a "a smart, engaging book," and the NY Post gave it four stars, and the New York Public Library called it one of 2006's "25 Books to Remember."
And featuring the music of EVAN SILVERMAN'S JAZZHOLE.
EVAN SILVERMAN has played music around the world (including two tours of England) and extensively throughout the United States, covering 40 states. He has also opened for acts like Echo and the Bunnymen, No Doubt, and Bob Dylan.
* * * * *
Here's a legendary appearance by a legendary punk band - Fear makes their network debut on Saturday Night Live, at the behest of punk fan John Belushi. Thy bussed in a bunch of hteir fans, who moshed around the stage. Eventually, the director pulled the plug halfway through their last song.
And here's grainy footage of Belushi playing drums with legendary punk outfit The Dead Boys at a benefit:
|
Like on Houston and First, two pumped-up Guidos literally in the middle of Houston, wearing matching black shirts with thin white pinstripes and khaki pants - the uniform of the asshole - one lying face-down on the hood of a taxi stopped at a red lgiht, screaming at the driver through the windshield while his partner stomps around in traffic like Donkey Kong. A passenger in a blue car one length back and one lane over took a flash photo, at which Donky Kong stomps over and starts demanding ther film very loudly.
The passenger pantomimes refusal, and Donkey kong pounds on the roof of his car - HARD - and screams, "COME OUT YOU FAGGOT!" His friend gets off the hood of the taxi, which then took off through a red light and oncoming traffic. The guy realized the cab was about to get away, so he grabbed the door handle and gets dragged two feet before letting go. The light then turned green and traffic resumed around these mooks.
Anyway, I haven't been writing stuff like that because i've been preparing for stuff like this. Please make a point of coming out if you can, I did this show before and it was really quite excellent:
MONDAY, April 30th
CBS/NYC Presents: Liam McEneaney's "Writings with Music"
at Mo Pitkin's
34 Ave. A
8:00pm * $6.00
Every musician secretly wants to be a comedian. All comedians have a secret yearning to play music. On Monday night, these worlds collide in a music/comedy experiment, as some of New York's best comedy writers read pieces, creating a rhythm that a jazz band will use to create a live, improvised musical background.
Curated by:
LIAM McENEANEY, who has been seen on Comedy Central's "Premium Blend" and VH1's "Best Week Ever." He spent two seasons as a writer for Comedy Central's "Stand-Up Nation w/ Greg Giraldo."
And featuring readings from:
ERIC DRYSDALE, a comedian/writer who won five Emmys for his work on "The Daily Show w/ Jon Stewart," co-authored the NY Times bestseller "America: The Book," and is currently on the writing staff of the hit Comedy Central show, "The Colbert Report," on which he can regularly be seen as "Bobby, the Stage Manager."
BOB POWERS, the creator of the wildly popular website girlsarepretty.com. His book, "Happy Cruelty Day," was recently published by Thomas Dunne Books/St. Martin's Press, and was called "crass, witty, snarky, and unbelievably funny" by the Library Journal. Along with Todd Levin, he is the curator/host of How to Kick People, a reading show that was featured at the 2006 US Comedy Arts Festival in Aspen.
JANICE ERLBAUM, is the author of "Girlbomb, A Halfway Homeless Memoir," published by Random House/Villard. The NY Times called it a "a smart, engaging book," and the NY Post gave it four stars, and the New York Public Library called it one of 2006's "25 Books to Remember."
And featuring the music of EVAN SILVERMAN'S JAZZHOLE.
EVAN SILVERMAN has played music around the world (including two tours of England) and extensively throughout the United States, covering 40 states. He has also opened for acts like Echo and the Bunnymen, No Doubt, and Bob Dylan.
* * * * *
Here's a legendary appearance by a legendary punk band - Fear makes their network debut on Saturday Night Live, at the behest of punk fan John Belushi. Thy bussed in a bunch of hteir fans, who moshed around the stage. Eventually, the director pulled the plug halfway through their last song.
And here's grainy footage of Belushi playing drums with legendary punk outfit The Dead Boys at a benefit:
Labels: apologies, reason to hate New York City, root for cars
Friday, April 20, 2007
DRINKY CROW
Writing about my high school friend Bill reminded me of this story. He was the kind of guy who pretty much always had a full bottle of Absolut vodka in his bag whenever I'd see him. But one night we were going to hang out, and we were calling to make plans and he asked if I couldn't bring some alcohol.
Now, my parents aren't really drinkers; the occasional glass of wine for my dad, but that's it. But they used to have house guests who would bring them these bottles of liquor, and so they had a shelf full of booze that they never touched. (When they moved out, I had an alcoholic roommate who drank it all in a year, but that's a whole other story.)
So I took a huge bottle of gin; nasty stuff in retrospect, something like 110 proof, easily ten, fifteen years old. And Bill and I sat in a junior high school playground and split it. And considering how much I was drinking, I was pretty okay. But he got shit-faced.
And then we went to see the movie Speed. And during the opening sequence in the elevator shaft, Bill kept nodding off, and when he did I'd nudge him, "Wake up! You're missing it!" About the third or fourth time I did that, he woke up, sat up, turned to his right, and just threw up all over the couple next to him.
We went to the men's room, where he cleaned himself up. He said, "Oh man, I gotta go home." I said, "Okay, I think I want to watch the rest of the movie here." And I enjoyed it.
* * * * *
If you don't come to this Monday's Tell Your Friends!, what can I say? You're a dang-blame fool is all:
MONDAY, APRIL 23rd
Tell Your Friends!
at the Lolita bar!
266 Broome St., at the corner of Allen!
8:00pm - FREE!
with:
Christian Finnegan - is currently headlining the Comedy Central "Two For Flinching College Tour" behind his album from Comedy Central Records, titled "Two For Flinching." He's been seen on VH1's "Best Week Ever" and "Comedy Central Presents: Christian Finnegan"
Arj Barker - has been seen on two (2) "Comedy Central Presents Arj Barker" specials, "Late Night w/ Conan O'Brien" and "Jimmy Kimmel Live!" and is an original writer/star of the Off-Broadway hit, "The Marijuanalogues"
Anthony Jeselnik - has been seen on Comedy Central's "Premium Blend", ABC's "Jimmy Kimmel Live", NBC's "Last Call with Carson Daly", and MTV's "Human Giant"
Liam McEneaney - from VH1's "Best Week Ever" and Comedy Central's "Premium Blend," and a writer for "Standup Nation w/ Greg Giraldo"
Allison Castillo - from VH1 and MTV
Aubrey Tennant - from Canada and beyond...
WHAT THE PRESS HAS SAID ABOUT "TELL YOUR FRIENDS!"
* Time Out New York called it a "DON'T MISS" twice now, and said: "With a slew of talented stand-ups . . . and folk-rock duo 'A Brief View of the Hudson,' Liam McEneaney's new show—and 'workout comedy room'—is sure to please."
* The NY Daily News made it a Monday pick of the day.
* AM New York put it in their "Best Bets" section.
* "Editor's Pick!" - clubfreetime.com
* The Onion says, "Though it's pegged as a 'workout room' for comics to test their new(ish) material, Liam McEneaney's weekly show Tell Your Friends flexes enough comedic muscle to pull its weight alongside more established downtown shows. Demetri Martin, Slovin & Allen, and Late Night With Conan O'Brien writer Brian Kiley are among the stand-ups who have squeezed into Lolita's narrow space since the show's debut this summer, alongside the surprisingly tolerable resident folk duo A Brief View of the Hudson."
* "It's been a while since we wrote about Tell Your Friends but this weekly comedy series deserves a nod. Every Monday they belt out top notch comedy at rock bottom prices with performers who have appeared on Comedy Central, Conan O'Brien, Jimmy Kimmel, and more." - FreeNYC.net
* * * * *
Why is David Letterman a national treasure? Because of great bits like this one, where he worked the drive-thru at a Taco Bell:
|
Now, my parents aren't really drinkers; the occasional glass of wine for my dad, but that's it. But they used to have house guests who would bring them these bottles of liquor, and so they had a shelf full of booze that they never touched. (When they moved out, I had an alcoholic roommate who drank it all in a year, but that's a whole other story.)
So I took a huge bottle of gin; nasty stuff in retrospect, something like 110 proof, easily ten, fifteen years old. And Bill and I sat in a junior high school playground and split it. And considering how much I was drinking, I was pretty okay. But he got shit-faced.
And then we went to see the movie Speed. And during the opening sequence in the elevator shaft, Bill kept nodding off, and when he did I'd nudge him, "Wake up! You're missing it!" About the third or fourth time I did that, he woke up, sat up, turned to his right, and just threw up all over the couple next to him.
We went to the men's room, where he cleaned himself up. He said, "Oh man, I gotta go home." I said, "Okay, I think I want to watch the rest of the movie here." And I enjoyed it.
* * * * *
If you don't come to this Monday's Tell Your Friends!, what can I say? You're a dang-blame fool is all:
MONDAY, APRIL 23rd
Tell Your Friends!
at the Lolita bar!
266 Broome St., at the corner of Allen!
8:00pm - FREE!
with:
Christian Finnegan - is currently headlining the Comedy Central "Two For Flinching College Tour" behind his album from Comedy Central Records, titled "Two For Flinching." He's been seen on VH1's "Best Week Ever" and "Comedy Central Presents: Christian Finnegan"
Arj Barker - has been seen on two (2) "Comedy Central Presents Arj Barker" specials, "Late Night w/ Conan O'Brien" and "Jimmy Kimmel Live!" and is an original writer/star of the Off-Broadway hit, "The Marijuanalogues"
Anthony Jeselnik - has been seen on Comedy Central's "Premium Blend", ABC's "Jimmy Kimmel Live", NBC's "Last Call with Carson Daly", and MTV's "Human Giant"
Liam McEneaney - from VH1's "Best Week Ever" and Comedy Central's "Premium Blend," and a writer for "Standup Nation w/ Greg Giraldo"
Allison Castillo - from VH1 and MTV
Aubrey Tennant - from Canada and beyond...
WHAT THE PRESS HAS SAID ABOUT "TELL YOUR FRIENDS!"
* Time Out New York called it a "DON'T MISS" twice now, and said: "With a slew of talented stand-ups . . . and folk-rock duo 'A Brief View of the Hudson,' Liam McEneaney's new show—and 'workout comedy room'—is sure to please."
* The NY Daily News made it a Monday pick of the day.
* AM New York put it in their "Best Bets" section.
* "Editor's Pick!" - clubfreetime.com
* The Onion says, "Though it's pegged as a 'workout room' for comics to test their new(ish) material, Liam McEneaney's weekly show Tell Your Friends flexes enough comedic muscle to pull its weight alongside more established downtown shows. Demetri Martin, Slovin & Allen, and Late Night With Conan O'Brien writer Brian Kiley are among the stand-ups who have squeezed into Lolita's narrow space since the show's debut this summer, alongside the surprisingly tolerable resident folk duo A Brief View of the Hudson."
* "It's been a while since we wrote about Tell Your Friends but this weekly comedy series deserves a nod. Every Monday they belt out top notch comedy at rock bottom prices with performers who have appeared on Comedy Central, Conan O'Brien, Jimmy Kimmel, and more." - FreeNYC.net
* * * * *
Why is David Letterman a national treasure? Because of great bits like this one, where he worked the drive-thru at a Taco Bell:
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
THE ORIGIN EPISODE
In high school, I was quite the "card." That's why my teachers "hated" me.
In Mrs. Jones' creative writing class, we were asked to make a presentation, so my friend Bill and I did a little three-minute sketch comedy/music revue. The class loved it, Mrs. Jones hated it, and so, to be fair to us - because Mrs. jones was an awesome teacher - she graded our project in a way I've never seen. She had two other students sit down with her, and the three of them secretly graded our project, and she averaged it out. Mrs. Jones gaves us a very low score, and the two classmates gave us a very high score, and between the three our grade was an 85.
Below is that old comedy routine, recently unearthed from an old notebook, with the occasional explanatory note in bold.
Act One:
Lobotoman
ANNOUNCER: Lobotoman! [theme song] The Most Mentally Absent Superhero!
[Lobotoman sits and does nothing for 60 seconds.]
ANNOUNCER: Stay tuned for the next episode of Lobotoman!
Act Two is just described as "Vaudeville Act (Mrs. Jones' Mother)." I'm not sure what it was supposed to be, but we seem to have had the wisdom to not actually perform it.
Act Three:
Matt Songs
MATT was this guy in our class, a real tool. He carried around drumsticks and a drummer magazine, not because he played drums but because he thought that made him cool. He was the one whose family eventually tried to send me to prison for prank-calling them.
Anyway, near as I can remember, Matt had written a poem for a girl at some point that started, "The ocean and I are blue today." It was pretty wretched, even by high school poetry standards. And, because high school kids are the most awful people on Earth, we decided to parody that.
Our first version, which we did not do in class, went, "The ocean and I are blue today,
Those are the words that I must say,
Everybody knows that I am gay
Over there in his chair..."
The version we went with goes like this:
The ocean and I are blue today,
For my wave my wave home went away,
Your home is like the finest rope I've ever seen,
Your eyes are like two crystal balls, where I can see the future.
Your arms, oh your arms, are like two slender sticks, where I would love to be a little bird... perched.
Our love is like a spiral notebook, where the spiral of our love interweaves
With the pages of our memories.
Oh, your bosom is like a Danish Moo Cow's Udders,
Oh your buttocks, just like my mudder's.
Oh your Nose, how it sticks out of your face,
Oh your teeth, like two spearmint chiclets.
Oh my love for you is infinite, like outerspace
Where we are two Martians,
Sailing,
Sailing.
(sailing)
Act Four:
Bill's Song
I think we never finished writing this, so we didn't perform it:
If you play with feces,
You get diseasies,
That's what my mother told me.
If you drink from the toilet,
Make sure you boil it,
She would always scold me.
And wash your hands when you wipe your ass,
And never pick your nose in public.
Act Five:
Picture this if you will. Me, with a Senor Wences face drawn on my hand, standing in a corner, facing away from the class. As Bill sang the following theme song, I unzipped my fly and stuck my arm through it:
BILL: [singing] Come with me, as I whip out, Mr. Happy!
I think we planned on my amazing improv skills to carry the rest of the sketch, as we didn't finish writing it, and I don't remember how it went.
I do know that it didn't matter what I did or said at that point, because the entire class was dying of laughter. Good times, good times.
* * * * *
My friend Andres teaches you how to make a paper airplane. You're welcome.
|
In Mrs. Jones' creative writing class, we were asked to make a presentation, so my friend Bill and I did a little three-minute sketch comedy/music revue. The class loved it, Mrs. Jones hated it, and so, to be fair to us - because Mrs. jones was an awesome teacher - she graded our project in a way I've never seen. She had two other students sit down with her, and the three of them secretly graded our project, and she averaged it out. Mrs. Jones gaves us a very low score, and the two classmates gave us a very high score, and between the three our grade was an 85.
Below is that old comedy routine, recently unearthed from an old notebook, with the occasional explanatory note in bold.
Act One:
Lobotoman
ANNOUNCER: Lobotoman! [theme song] The Most Mentally Absent Superhero!
[Lobotoman sits and does nothing for 60 seconds.]
ANNOUNCER: Stay tuned for the next episode of Lobotoman!
Act Two is just described as "Vaudeville Act (Mrs. Jones' Mother)." I'm not sure what it was supposed to be, but we seem to have had the wisdom to not actually perform it.
Act Three:
Matt Songs
MATT was this guy in our class, a real tool. He carried around drumsticks and a drummer magazine, not because he played drums but because he thought that made him cool. He was the one whose family eventually tried to send me to prison for prank-calling them.
Anyway, near as I can remember, Matt had written a poem for a girl at some point that started, "The ocean and I are blue today." It was pretty wretched, even by high school poetry standards. And, because high school kids are the most awful people on Earth, we decided to parody that.
Our first version, which we did not do in class, went, "The ocean and I are blue today,
Those are the words that I must say,
Everybody knows that I am gay
Over there in his chair..."
The version we went with goes like this:
The ocean and I are blue today,
For my wave my wave home went away,
Your home is like the finest rope I've ever seen,
Your eyes are like two crystal balls, where I can see the future.
Your arms, oh your arms, are like two slender sticks, where I would love to be a little bird... perched.
Our love is like a spiral notebook, where the spiral of our love interweaves
With the pages of our memories.
Oh, your bosom is like a Danish Moo Cow's Udders,
Oh your buttocks, just like my mudder's.
Oh your Nose, how it sticks out of your face,
Oh your teeth, like two spearmint chiclets.
Oh my love for you is infinite, like outerspace
Where we are two Martians,
Sailing,
Sailing.
(sailing)
Act Four:
Bill's Song
I think we never finished writing this, so we didn't perform it:
If you play with feces,
You get diseasies,
That's what my mother told me.
If you drink from the toilet,
Make sure you boil it,
She would always scold me.
And wash your hands when you wipe your ass,
And never pick your nose in public.
Act Five:
Picture this if you will. Me, with a Senor Wences face drawn on my hand, standing in a corner, facing away from the class. As Bill sang the following theme song, I unzipped my fly and stuck my arm through it:
BILL: [singing] Come with me, as I whip out, Mr. Happy!
I think we planned on my amazing improv skills to carry the rest of the sketch, as we didn't finish writing it, and I don't remember how it went.
I do know that it didn't matter what I did or said at that point, because the entire class was dying of laughter. Good times, good times.
* * * * *
My friend Andres teaches you how to make a paper airplane. You're welcome.
Labels: a walk down memory lane
Monday, April 16, 2007
HERE I GO AGAIN ON MY OWN...
When I was a kid, my parents would give me advice. Every Halloween, my mom would tell me to be careful Trick-or-Treating, because one year once some guy ut a razor blade in an apple and a kid ate it.
Which was ridiculous; where I grew up, anyone giving apples out on Halloween was going to find those apples thrown through his front window. That asshole better like applesauce, 'cause his front porch will be covered in it.
My dad once told me that a man always pays for a woman when he takes her out on a date. At the time I thought it was a tip on how to be a gentleman, but now I look back on it, I think it was more a warning:
"Stay clear of women! Save yourself, go gay! Those cheap bitches will ruin you!"
I know I shouldn't use the word "bitch" in that context, because women get really offended by accuracy.
* * * * *
Hear the above and more said out loud at Tell Your Friends! tonight. I know the weather outside is lousy, but don't use that as an excuse to stay away, because this week's show is going to be amazing. Grab a gondola, ark, or rubber raft hilariously circled by cartoon sharks to:
MONDAY, APRIL 19th
Tell Your Friends!
at the Lolita - 266 Broome St. @ Allen St.
8:00pm - FREE!
With:
Lisa Landry - has been seen on her own "Comedy Central Presents: Lisa Landry" special, and "Brett Butler's Southern Belles of Comedy"
Victor Varnado - has been seen on "Late Night w/ Conan O'Brien," "Jimmy Kimmel Live!," and Comedy Central's "Premium Blend." As an actor, he's appeared in "Pluto Nash," "End of Days," and your mom
Liam McEneaney - has appeared on Comedy Central's "Premium Blend" and VH1's "Best Week Ever"
ZeroBoy - the human sound effects machine
Rob Paravonian - a touring national headliner who has appeared on Comedy Central's "Premium Blend" and VH1
and TYF! newcomer Myka Fox!
with our house band A Brief View of the Hudson
WHAT THE PRESS HAS SAID:
* Time Out New York called it a "DON'T MISS" twice now, and said: "With a slew of talented stand-ups . . . and folk-rock duo 'A Brief View of the Hudson,' Liam McEneaney's new show—and 'workout comedy room'—is sure to please."
* The NY Daily News made it a Monday pick of the day.
* AM New York put it in their "Best Bets" section.
* "Editor's Pick!" - clubfreetime.com
* The Onion says, "Though it's pegged as a 'workout room' for comics to test their new(ish) material, Liam McEneaney's weekly show Tell Your Friends flexes enough comedic muscle to pull its weight alongside more established downtown shows. Demetri Martin, Slovin & Allen, and Late Night With Conan O'Brien writer Brian Kiley are among the stand-ups who have squeezed into Lolita's narrow space since the show's debut this summer, alongside the surprisingly tolerable resident folk duo A Brief View of the Hudson."
* "It's been a while since we wrote about Tell Your Friends but this weekly comedy series deserves a nod. Every Monday they belt out top notch comedy at rock bottom prices with performers who have appeared on Comedy Central, Conan O'Brien, Jimmy Kimmel, and more." - FreeNYC.net
* * * * *
In 1975, reigning heavyweight champ Muhammed Ali appeared on The Mike Douglas Show to promote an upcoming fight with Chuck Wepner. Wepner showed up, and if you want to see the ultimate in discomfort, look at Douglas sitting between these two fighting heavyweights who could tear him apart with their bare hands.
It's pretty amazing to think that this aired on television. Try to imagine Oprah playing host to the following. Wouldn't happen:
Wepner talked a good game, but when it came time for the fight, he didn't fare so well:
|
Which was ridiculous; where I grew up, anyone giving apples out on Halloween was going to find those apples thrown through his front window. That asshole better like applesauce, 'cause his front porch will be covered in it.
My dad once told me that a man always pays for a woman when he takes her out on a date. At the time I thought it was a tip on how to be a gentleman, but now I look back on it, I think it was more a warning:
"Stay clear of women! Save yourself, go gay! Those cheap bitches will ruin you!"
I know I shouldn't use the word "bitch" in that context, because women get really offended by accuracy.
* * * * *
Hear the above and more said out loud at Tell Your Friends! tonight. I know the weather outside is lousy, but don't use that as an excuse to stay away, because this week's show is going to be amazing. Grab a gondola, ark, or rubber raft hilariously circled by cartoon sharks to:
MONDAY, APRIL 19th
Tell Your Friends!
at the Lolita - 266 Broome St. @ Allen St.
8:00pm - FREE!
With:
Lisa Landry - has been seen on her own "Comedy Central Presents: Lisa Landry" special, and "Brett Butler's Southern Belles of Comedy"
Victor Varnado - has been seen on "Late Night w/ Conan O'Brien," "Jimmy Kimmel Live!," and Comedy Central's "Premium Blend." As an actor, he's appeared in "Pluto Nash," "End of Days," and your mom
Liam McEneaney - has appeared on Comedy Central's "Premium Blend" and VH1's "Best Week Ever"
ZeroBoy - the human sound effects machine
Rob Paravonian - a touring national headliner who has appeared on Comedy Central's "Premium Blend" and VH1
and TYF! newcomer Myka Fox!
with our house band A Brief View of the Hudson
WHAT THE PRESS HAS SAID:
* Time Out New York called it a "DON'T MISS" twice now, and said: "With a slew of talented stand-ups . . . and folk-rock duo 'A Brief View of the Hudson,' Liam McEneaney's new show—and 'workout comedy room'—is sure to please."
* The NY Daily News made it a Monday pick of the day.
* AM New York put it in their "Best Bets" section.
* "Editor's Pick!" - clubfreetime.com
* The Onion says, "Though it's pegged as a 'workout room' for comics to test their new(ish) material, Liam McEneaney's weekly show Tell Your Friends flexes enough comedic muscle to pull its weight alongside more established downtown shows. Demetri Martin, Slovin & Allen, and Late Night With Conan O'Brien writer Brian Kiley are among the stand-ups who have squeezed into Lolita's narrow space since the show's debut this summer, alongside the surprisingly tolerable resident folk duo A Brief View of the Hudson."
* "It's been a while since we wrote about Tell Your Friends but this weekly comedy series deserves a nod. Every Monday they belt out top notch comedy at rock bottom prices with performers who have appeared on Comedy Central, Conan O'Brien, Jimmy Kimmel, and more." - FreeNYC.net
* * * * *
In 1975, reigning heavyweight champ Muhammed Ali appeared on The Mike Douglas Show to promote an upcoming fight with Chuck Wepner. Wepner showed up, and if you want to see the ultimate in discomfort, look at Douglas sitting between these two fighting heavyweights who could tear him apart with their bare hands.
It's pretty amazing to think that this aired on television. Try to imagine Oprah playing host to the following. Wouldn't happen:
Wepner talked a good game, but when it came time for the fight, he didn't fare so well:
Labels: hilarious misogyny, why I'm single
Friday, April 06, 2007
SORRY I'VE BEEN SO QUIET THIS WEEK
I've just had no inspiration to write. However, this show I'm doing Monday is going to creatively revitalize all of us. Let's all check it out together!
MONDAY, APRIL 9th
Tell Your Friends!
at the Lolita bar!
266 Broome St., at the corner of Allen
8:00pm - FREE!
Host: Victor Varnado - from "Late Night w/ Conan O'Brien" & "Jimmy Kimmel Live!"
Acts:
Jason Trachtenberg - from the Trachtenberg Family Slideshow Players
Tony Camin - as seen on "Conan," "Kimmel," "Tough Crowd w/ Colin Quinn," and a writer/star of The Marijuanalogues
Liam McEneaney - has been on Comedy Central's "Premium Blend" and VH1's "Best Week Ever"
Andres DuBouchet - one of NYC's premeire comedians
and TYF! newcomer Sean Murphy
* * * * *
I'm not the world's biggest Bill Hicks fan, but these two clips are amazing. These are from a bootleg was made at some Hicks show down South, and I've listened to the whole thing on mp3. He has a really rough show, where he starts off getting heckled. Watching. listening to him deal with the hecklers - by snapping and screaming out of control - is an education. Perhaps not an education in the best way to deal with it, but an education nonetheless. The language is extremely NSFW:
Here he deals with a heckler who won't stop screaming "Freebird!" By the way, if you're at a concert or a show and you keep creaming "Freebird!" you should know that it really isn't funny. It stopped being funny about ten minutes after that Lynyrd Skynyrd album was released:
And here he deals with a woman who felt the need to tell him she didn't appreciate his act:
|
MONDAY, APRIL 9th
Tell Your Friends!
at the Lolita bar!
266 Broome St., at the corner of Allen
8:00pm - FREE!
Host: Victor Varnado - from "Late Night w/ Conan O'Brien" & "Jimmy Kimmel Live!"
Acts:
Jason Trachtenberg - from the Trachtenberg Family Slideshow Players
Tony Camin - as seen on "Conan," "Kimmel," "Tough Crowd w/ Colin Quinn," and a writer/star of The Marijuanalogues
Liam McEneaney - has been on Comedy Central's "Premium Blend" and VH1's "Best Week Ever"
Andres DuBouchet - one of NYC's premeire comedians
and TYF! newcomer Sean Murphy
* * * * *
I'm not the world's biggest Bill Hicks fan, but these two clips are amazing. These are from a bootleg was made at some Hicks show down South, and I've listened to the whole thing on mp3. He has a really rough show, where he starts off getting heckled. Watching. listening to him deal with the hecklers - by snapping and screaming out of control - is an education. Perhaps not an education in the best way to deal with it, but an education nonetheless. The language is extremely NSFW:
Here he deals with a heckler who won't stop screaming "Freebird!" By the way, if you're at a concert or a show and you keep creaming "Freebird!" you should know that it really isn't funny. It stopped being funny about ten minutes after that Lynyrd Skynyrd album was released:
And here he deals with a woman who felt the need to tell him she didn't appreciate his act:
Labels: waste of bandwidth, why did you bother?
Monday, April 02, 2007
DOWN THE COMEDY RABBIT HOLE
Tell most women in this city that you're a comedian, and the first thing they'll reflexively say is, "Oh, I don't date comedians." Most of the time without your having even asked. Today's blog entry is a prime example why this is a good policy.
A month ago, I did an important show and I needed audience for it, so I dug deep into my AOL address book and sent show spam to people who weren't technically on my e-mail list, but whom I knew and with whom I'd corresponded via e-mails.
People like the producers of a show I worked on, a manager I've been working with in LA, staff at VH1, women I've dated, and other people who aren't going to really want to hear fom me on a regular basis about my shows.
MISTAKE #1: I was sending out this email exhausted on no sleep, and didn't BCC: this list. )Trust me, this post is boring right now, but it gets interesting in a couple of paragraphs.)
I immediately sent out an apology e-mail, and a warning to other comedians not to steal my list. One did. Because, as you'll see, he's the kind of jackass who thinks any publicity is good publicity, we'l just call him "D."
I sent "D." an e-mail warning him to cut the shit. This past Saturday, I got an e-mail from a friend that he'd sent out another show promo e-mail to my list.
MISTAKE #2: I was home drunk that night, working on a piece of comedy due this morning, and so I sent out a drunk, angry e-mail. What follows is the e-mail exchange between myself and this "D" person, which culminates in an amazing fake press release he sent out to my e-mail list. Please enjoy both my drunken, rage-filled incoherence, and his amazing responses:
First is my e-mail to him. Not my finest hour, by any means:
FROM: mceneaneyl
TO: "D"
SUBJECT: I already told you
To stop spamming my e-mail list. You're pissing off a bunch of
industry people, and believe it or not that's going to come back to
haunt you down the line.
And to answer your earlier question, the way I "got" your e-mail
address was you added me to your list when I was curious about your
open mic.
In conclusion, no one wants to see your shitty MySpace video, and no
one wants to attend your shitty open mic.
Here was his amazing, and almost instantaneous, response:
FROM: "D"
TO: mceneaneyl
SUBJECT: re: I already told you
I don't run an open mic. And those that ask to be removed are removed
I'm 24 years old I'm going to do it my way love. I'm sorry if you're not interested. Ask to be removed.
No stress no press. No reason to curse me out. If an email is the cause of so much controversy I feel important. There is a delete button right next to the send.
Ill see you on the other side baby boy. You got your TV credits. Let me try for mine.
"D"
Unoffending individual
Anyone who calls my "baby boy" and "my love" in a condescending manner, especially someone who is spamming my list with a promo for his MySpace comedy video about Britney shaving her pubes, is on my shit list. Here was my response:
FROM: mceneaneyl
TO: "D"
SUBJECT: re: I already told you
Acthally D, you're being an asshole, and it's only going to come back to haunt you. And you can trust me on this one.
I can't force you to do the right thing, but I can warn you that this is a business with a small community, full of people with long, long memories.
"D" responded:
FROM: "D"
TO: mceneaneyl
SUBJECT: re: I already told you
Again. That doesn't apply to me.
Anyone unwanting is removed.
I fear those whose ego is so inflated that everyone elses news is unimportant yet his own is valued in the "community".
Sending an email doesn't make me an asshole my friend. I'm sorry that you're offended.
I realized at this point that I wasn't even arguing with someone who shares a frame of reference on planet Earth. I didn't respond to his e-mail, and he sent me this one two hours later:
FROM: "D"
TO: mceneaneyl
SUBJECT: re: I already told you
I'm sorry you're such an angry person Liam.
It's surprising and I feel for you.
I hope you can be happy one day.
The "right thing" is to let people live their lives. I'm not sure where an email every two weeks fits into that equation, but if it's hurting you that bad, please let me know. We're humans baby boy. We're here cuz we can work it out. Come up w/ a better approach.
I'm sorry you're having a bad weekend.
Okay, up to this point he's just a run-of-the-mill passive-aggressive douchebag. Annoying, but the world of comedy is chock-full of them. But here's where he earned his Hall of Fame Legend for Life status. He actually then spammed MY list of friends and professional acquaintances with the following. I swear, this is exactly as he wrote it, with only editing to take out his name and the names of the various shows he promotes:
April 1st 2007- New York, NY --NYC Comedian, Liam MceNeaneany, who has appeared on "Comedy Central's Premium Blend" and "Vh1's Best Week Ever" takes time to bash rookie comic "D," over an email list suspected "stolen." In an email transcribed below in it's entirety Liam claims "No one wants to see (D's) shitty MySpace video and no one wants to attend (D's) shitty open mic." To which D replies "What's the problem Mr. MceNeaney?"
Most shocking among the allegations is that D is "an asshole, pissing off a bunch of industry people." D explained that anyone unwilling to recieve an email would kindly be removed from his mailing list. While NY is a world of hundreds of comedians it appears that there is a certain possessiveness involved in who can be contacted and about which shows.
D, just 14 months into comedy begs the question: Is there not room enough for more than one comedian in New York City? CEO and Founder of Shitty Open Mike Productions, D claims only to be looking his own chance to shine and be lucky enough to grace the screens of Comedy Central and Vh1, like his newly defined nemesis.
With the Anniversary of Shitty Open Mic's 12th Month at Shitty Open Mic Venue in Manhattan's East Village this past Wednesday and packed houses for both Shitty Open Mic run shows, Crazy Comedy Name! and Descriptive Comedy Name in Brooklyn's Park Slope this week, with fellow Best Week Ever Alum Yannis Pappas, D was hopefully and optimistic about broadcasting the video made by Syracuse University classmate Zach Feldman on Myspace.
D unfortunately found his confidence and integrity smashed to pieces when Liam MceNeaney, chose to rip it to shreads late Saturday evening as D made his way to Show Venue to perform.
D who came to New York greeted with open arms by comedy heavy-hitter Lisa Lampanelli, based on his interest in pursuing his dream: Stand Up Comedy. Lisa worked with D to help coach him to better his material and his stage prescence, and even brought him to open shows for her in Connecticut. In return D gratefully helped promote Lampanelli's success at Caroline's Comedy Club in NY City, a room that she now consistently sells out.
"If only everyone was willing to help the little guy," remarks D, shocked at the David and Goliath scenario he finds himself amongst. As Liam describes comedy as "a business with a small community, full of people with long, long memories" D only hopes this true, and wonders what most will be remembered? The "shitty myspace video" or the or the attempt to squash a comedic infant in a sea of New York City Talent.
To view the video in question please visit:
WEBSITE REDACTED
For more information on D please visit:
WEBSITE REDACTED
For more information on Liam MceNeaney please visit:
http://kidliam.blogspot.com/
------------------------------------------------------------
Emails from Liam MceNeaney as written:
From " mceneaneyl@aol.com"
Subject: I already told you
To stop spamming my e-mail list. You're pissing off a bunch of
industry people, and believe it or not that's going to come back to
haunt you down the line.
And to answer your earlier question, the way I "got" your e-mail
address was you added me to your list when I was curious about your
open mic.
In conclusion, no one wants to see your shitty MySpace video, and no
one wants to attend your shitty open mic.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
From " mceneaneyl@aol.com"
Acthally D, you're being an asshole, and it's only going to come back
to haunt you. And you can trust me on this one.
I can't force you to do the right thing, but I can warn you that this
is a business with a small community, full of people with long, long
memories.
Share and enjoy! http://kidliam.blogspot.com
* * * * *
If you're still reading, why not check out my show?
MONDAY, APRIL 2nd
Tell Your Friends!
It's the Goys of Comedy!
at the Lolita bar!
266 Broome St., at the corner of Allen!
8:00pm - FREE!
Host: Roger Hailes
Acts:
Joe Garden - is an editor for The Onion
Chris Regan - won five Emmys as a writer for "The Daily Show w/ Jon Stewart," and is currently writing a book based on his website Mythstory (link to the right). As a comedian, he appeared on Comedy Central's "Premium Blend"
Liam McEneaney - has appeared on Comedy Central's "Premium Blend" and VH1's "Best Week Ever"
Kristen Schaal - won the Best Alternative Comedian award at the Aspen Comedy Festival, and has appeared on Comedy Central's "Live at Gotham"
and TYF! newcomer Sean O'Connor
|
A month ago, I did an important show and I needed audience for it, so I dug deep into my AOL address book and sent show spam to people who weren't technically on my e-mail list, but whom I knew and with whom I'd corresponded via e-mails.
People like the producers of a show I worked on, a manager I've been working with in LA, staff at VH1, women I've dated, and other people who aren't going to really want to hear fom me on a regular basis about my shows.
MISTAKE #1: I was sending out this email exhausted on no sleep, and didn't BCC: this list. )Trust me, this post is boring right now, but it gets interesting in a couple of paragraphs.)
I immediately sent out an apology e-mail, and a warning to other comedians not to steal my list. One did. Because, as you'll see, he's the kind of jackass who thinks any publicity is good publicity, we'l just call him "D."
I sent "D." an e-mail warning him to cut the shit. This past Saturday, I got an e-mail from a friend that he'd sent out another show promo e-mail to my list.
MISTAKE #2: I was home drunk that night, working on a piece of comedy due this morning, and so I sent out a drunk, angry e-mail. What follows is the e-mail exchange between myself and this "D" person, which culminates in an amazing fake press release he sent out to my e-mail list. Please enjoy both my drunken, rage-filled incoherence, and his amazing responses:
First is my e-mail to him. Not my finest hour, by any means:
FROM: mceneaneyl
TO: "D"
SUBJECT: I already told you
To stop spamming my e-mail list. You're pissing off a bunch of
industry people, and believe it or not that's going to come back to
haunt you down the line.
And to answer your earlier question, the way I "got" your e-mail
address was you added me to your list when I was curious about your
open mic.
In conclusion, no one wants to see your shitty MySpace video, and no
one wants to attend your shitty open mic.
Here was his amazing, and almost instantaneous, response:
FROM: "D"
TO: mceneaneyl
SUBJECT: re: I already told you
I don't run an open mic. And those that ask to be removed are removed
I'm 24 years old I'm going to do it my way love. I'm sorry if you're not interested. Ask to be removed.
No stress no press. No reason to curse me out. If an email is the cause of so much controversy I feel important. There is a delete button right next to the send.
Ill see you on the other side baby boy. You got your TV credits. Let me try for mine.
"D"
Unoffending individual
Anyone who calls my "baby boy" and "my love" in a condescending manner, especially someone who is spamming my list with a promo for his MySpace comedy video about Britney shaving her pubes, is on my shit list. Here was my response:
FROM: mceneaneyl
TO: "D"
SUBJECT: re: I already told you
Acthally D, you're being an asshole, and it's only going to come back to haunt you. And you can trust me on this one.
I can't force you to do the right thing, but I can warn you that this is a business with a small community, full of people with long, long memories.
"D" responded:
FROM: "D"
TO: mceneaneyl
SUBJECT: re: I already told you
Again. That doesn't apply to me.
Anyone unwanting is removed.
I fear those whose ego is so inflated that everyone elses news is unimportant yet his own is valued in the "community".
Sending an email doesn't make me an asshole my friend. I'm sorry that you're offended.
I realized at this point that I wasn't even arguing with someone who shares a frame of reference on planet Earth. I didn't respond to his e-mail, and he sent me this one two hours later:
FROM: "D"
TO: mceneaneyl
SUBJECT: re: I already told you
I'm sorry you're such an angry person Liam.
It's surprising and I feel for you.
I hope you can be happy one day.
The "right thing" is to let people live their lives. I'm not sure where an email every two weeks fits into that equation, but if it's hurting you that bad, please let me know. We're humans baby boy. We're here cuz we can work it out. Come up w/ a better approach.
I'm sorry you're having a bad weekend.
Okay, up to this point he's just a run-of-the-mill passive-aggressive douchebag. Annoying, but the world of comedy is chock-full of them. But here's where he earned his Hall of Fame Legend for Life status. He actually then spammed MY list of friends and professional acquaintances with the following. I swear, this is exactly as he wrote it, with only editing to take out his name and the names of the various shows he promotes:
April 1st 2007- New York, NY --NYC Comedian, Liam MceNeaneany, who has appeared on "Comedy Central's Premium Blend" and "Vh1's Best Week Ever" takes time to bash rookie comic "D," over an email list suspected "stolen." In an email transcribed below in it's entirety Liam claims "No one wants to see (D's) shitty MySpace video and no one wants to attend (D's) shitty open mic." To which D replies "What's the problem Mr. MceNeaney?"
Most shocking among the allegations is that D is "an asshole, pissing off a bunch of industry people." D explained that anyone unwilling to recieve an email would kindly be removed from his mailing list. While NY is a world of hundreds of comedians it appears that there is a certain possessiveness involved in who can be contacted and about which shows.
D, just 14 months into comedy begs the question: Is there not room enough for more than one comedian in New York City? CEO and Founder of Shitty Open Mike Productions, D claims only to be looking his own chance to shine and be lucky enough to grace the screens of Comedy Central and Vh1, like his newly defined nemesis.
With the Anniversary of Shitty Open Mic's 12th Month at Shitty Open Mic Venue in Manhattan's East Village this past Wednesday and packed houses for both Shitty Open Mic run shows, Crazy Comedy Name! and Descriptive Comedy Name in Brooklyn's Park Slope this week, with fellow Best Week Ever Alum Yannis Pappas, D was hopefully and optimistic about broadcasting the video made by Syracuse University classmate Zach Feldman on Myspace.
D unfortunately found his confidence and integrity smashed to pieces when Liam MceNeaney, chose to rip it to shreads late Saturday evening as D made his way to Show Venue to perform.
D who came to New York greeted with open arms by comedy heavy-hitter Lisa Lampanelli, based on his interest in pursuing his dream: Stand Up Comedy. Lisa worked with D to help coach him to better his material and his stage prescence, and even brought him to open shows for her in Connecticut. In return D gratefully helped promote Lampanelli's success at Caroline's Comedy Club in NY City, a room that she now consistently sells out.
"If only everyone was willing to help the little guy," remarks D, shocked at the David and Goliath scenario he finds himself amongst. As Liam describes comedy as "a business with a small community, full of people with long, long memories" D only hopes this true, and wonders what most will be remembered? The "shitty myspace video" or the or the attempt to squash a comedic infant in a sea of New York City Talent.
To view the video in question please visit:
WEBSITE REDACTED
For more information on D please visit:
WEBSITE REDACTED
For more information on Liam MceNeaney please visit:
http://kidliam.blogspot.com/
------------------------------------------------------------
Emails from Liam MceNeaney as written:
From " mceneaneyl@aol.com"
Subject: I already told you
To stop spamming my e-mail list. You're pissing off a bunch of
industry people, and believe it or not that's going to come back to
haunt you down the line.
And to answer your earlier question, the way I "got" your e-mail
address was you added me to your list when I was curious about your
open mic.
In conclusion, no one wants to see your shitty MySpace video, and no
one wants to attend your shitty open mic.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
From " mceneaneyl@aol.com"
Acthally D, you're being an asshole, and it's only going to come back
to haunt you. And you can trust me on this one.
I can't force you to do the right thing, but I can warn you that this
is a business with a small community, full of people with long, long
memories.
Share and enjoy! http://kidliam.blogspot.com
* * * * *
If you're still reading, why not check out my show?
MONDAY, APRIL 2nd
Tell Your Friends!
It's the Goys of Comedy!
at the Lolita bar!
266 Broome St., at the corner of Allen!
8:00pm - FREE!
Host: Roger Hailes
Acts:
Joe Garden - is an editor for The Onion
Chris Regan - won five Emmys as a writer for "The Daily Show w/ Jon Stewart," and is currently writing a book based on his website Mythstory (link to the right). As a comedian, he appeared on Comedy Central's "Premium Blend"
Liam McEneaney - has appeared on Comedy Central's "Premium Blend" and VH1's "Best Week Ever"
Kristen Schaal - won the Best Alternative Comedian award at the Aspen Comedy Festival, and has appeared on Comedy Central's "Live at Gotham"
and TYF! newcomer Sean O'Connor
Labels: the guy who will end up murdering me
